Words: anger, destruction, out of control, frustration, giving up, violence, mistakes, let down, helplessness, internal
I’m not one for expressing my anger visibly, I tend to go off and sulk with people and sink into myself. Therefore I found this exercise surprisingly therapeutic, it was good to let some internal anger out in an expressive way.
I stuck with the same materials and order as the first emotion: top left charcoal pencil, top right paint and skewer, bottom left – pastel, bottom right – watercolour pencils.
Top left – I held the pencil with a very tight grip in a clenched fist hold and made strong fast marks that naturally ended up with a spiky look. As I was pressing so hard and moving so fast with the pencil on some of the return strokes the pencil skipped over the paper and left a trail of dots instead of a full line.
Top Right – I started with a similar style of mark marking, lots of paint on the skewer and quite exaggerated spikes, I then flicked some paint with the skewer and ended up tipping a mass of paint on the paper and spread it around in angry strokes with the skewer. This is quite reflective of the way I tend to react when I’m angry with myself. I go into self-destruct mode and end up being quite destructive in general.
Bottom left – this idea of self destruct is continued with me smudging the marks I had left.
Bottom right – a single hard pressed pencil mark. Again this is how I react when I’m angry with myself, I self destruct to the point of giving up.
I didn’t expect this activity to be so self-reflective. It has made me think a great deal with the way I deal with anger and that anger is usually focused on being angry with myself for my choices and actions.